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"Tom Paine" is a New Zealander living in Australia under an assumed height. Disguised as a mild-mannered reporter for the mainstream media, at 8:49am on the morning of Tuesday Septmber 11th, 2001, Eastern Standard Time, certain major non-humorous events transformed him into "Tom Paine", SNN's crack interviewer and scourge of the politically correct. It took him more than two months to completely reverse his former center-left beliefs and values (it turns out there's, like, a ton of paperwork involved). As a Jew, his main activities include cooking for friends, walks on the beach, and staying alive. His interests include history, science fiction and maintaining Western imperialist global hegemony through the application of overwhelming firepower and hugs.